I decided to put off writing about the game I was supposed to review this week to write about a game I played for the first time at PAX Prime 2013. I have actually been sinking a decent amount of time into that game, and I have enjoyed it so it will be getting a favorable review at some point in the near future, but I have been wanting to review this game for a while now, even though it’s not exactly a new release anymore. So basically I am demonstrationg straight up insubordination and using PAX Prime 2015 as feeble justification to do so. This game is the virtual masochist’s playground known as Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures. I assume most people who frequent this site are familiar with The Angry Video Game Nerd, but for those who are not you can watch his videos on Youtube or Cinemassacre, and I recommend doing so since they are entertaining, at least I think so. For the uninitiated, in a nutshell he plays old video games, drinks beer, and screams obscenities at whatever he is playing.
Oftentimes I agree with his hatred, with the major exception of Simon’s Quest. I actually like that game despite the fact saying it has cryptic direction is an enormous understatement. AVGNA is just is frustrating as the games that James yells at in his videos. This game’s difficulty is HAM. Or if you don’t know what that means because you have good taste in music, really friggin’ hard, like triple dose Viagra hard. Can I make a comment like that on this site? Luckily, this game has adjustable difficulty. The first time I played this at PAX the incentive for beating a level on normal difficulty was a stuffed $h!t Pickle. At the time I thought I never knew I wanted a stuffed $h!t Pickle, but now that one is available, I must have it. Normal difficulty gives you 30 changes to die. I beat the level with one life and one bar of health (beer bottle) remaining, so when I did this review I played it on the lowest difficulty setting with infinite lives as evidenced by the pink zapper that is in the screen shot. Even with infinite lives and a six pack long health bar, I still died enough times to screamed about how I would rather have people extinguish cigarette butts on pus oozing lesions on my genitals (note, in real life I have no such lesions) than play any more of this infuriating chunk of excrement of a game. Incidentally, every time you die the game gives you a randomly generated quote similar to that previous sentence.
If you are familiar with the Nerd, you will find it not surprising at all that this game is rated F for Duckballs, or something that rhymes with that. But also if you are familiar with the Nerd, nothing in this game will offend you. This is an old school 2D side scrolling platformer, and as I hinted at earlier, and by hinted explicitly stated, this game is hard. Each level is patterned after an NES game and the attention to detail is quite impressive. There are references to various old video games that the Nerd has pointed out, such as the random beat when you pause Battletoads and those annoying vertical climbing bubbles from The Adventure of Link. Those familiar with the Nerd’s body of work will also catch various nods to things found in there, such as a power up that summons Super Mecha Death Christ to lay waste to everything on screen, and the checkpoints scattered throughout each level are the modified toasters that pop out an NES cartridge when you touch them. This game can be incredibly frustrating but also extremely enjoyable. Anyone who enjoyed 2D gaming from the Paleozoic era, which was the 1980’s and included some spillover into the early 1990’s NES library, should check out this game. Same goes for people who are fans of the Angry Video Game Nerd. Normally when a franchise is licensed into a video game the results are craptastic of epic proportions with very few exceptions. This happens to be one of those exceptions. So I recommended grabbing a beer (disclaimer: only drink beer responsibly and if you are over 21 years of age or whatever the legal drinking age is in your country) and download this game and get ready to have an enjoyable time screaming at your computer and wanting to smash your controller in a fit of rage. Follow me on Twitter